On Mommyhood

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that being a consistent parent is the best thing for your children.  Upon self-evaluation, I am afraid I am all but the opposite.  I've been able to group my top sayings into 10 different Mommy categories...and here they are...

predictable mommy

• "Eat your veggies, they're good for you."
• "I can always tell when you're lying."
• "You won't be happy until you break that, will you?"
• "You can't find it? Well where did you leave it last?"
• "Someone is going to end up crying..."

nagging mommy

• "Clean up after yourself!"
• "Wipe your feet!"
• "Did you brush your teeth?"
• "Did you wash your face?"
• "Did you brush your teeth?"
• "Did you flush?"
• "I said brush your teeth!"

lazy mommy

• "Ask your father."
• "Don't ask me WHY.  The answer is NO."
• "Don't make me come in there!"
• "Do you think your socks will pick themselves up?"
• "No."
• "I'm not going to ask you again."
• "Nobody asked you."

chicken mommy

• "Be careful!"
• "Get that out of your mouth! You don't know where that's been."
• "Oh, that's too bad your little friend is sick. Stay away from her.  Forever."
• "Boys are bad."

selfish mommy

• "Quit sharing your lunch with your friends. I didn't buy food for your entire school!"
• "I just want what's best for you."
• "If you're going to kill each other, do it over there. Just finished mopping."
• "This hurts me more than it hurts you."

exaggerator mommy

• "Don't break an arm patting yourself on the back."
• "This room looks like a tornado went through it."
• "When I was young I respected my elders."
• "Eat everything on your plate.  There are starving children around the world..."
• "Yes, Mommy knows everything there is to know. Daddy almost does, too."

picky mommy

• "I said close the door, not SLAM."
• "Are you sure you want to wear that out in public?"
• "You can go out and play...after you wash your face and brush your hair."
• "Now, go back upstairs and come back down WITHOUT stomping your feet."
• "What's the magic word??"
• "Try again with that 'sorry' and mean it this time."

suspicious mommy

• "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it before?"
• "Where did you learn that word? Certainly not in this house!"
• "Are you lying to me?"
• "What? Are you kidding?"

threatening mommy

• "Don't make that face or it will freeze that way."
• "I put you into this world, and I can take you right back out!"
• "If it were a snake, it would have bitten you."
• "Your father is going to hear about this when he gets home!"
• "Some day you will thank me for this." SMACK!!!
• "Answer me when I ask you a question!"

loving mommy

• "You will ALWAYS be my baby."
• "I love you to the moon and back."